TransformYourLife

Our mindsets are like open roads.Our thoughts can be a speeding red shiny car or a bulldozer.Depending upon our mindset we take directions in life. There are two major kinds of mindsets Mindset of pessimism/lack- Negative|Cynical|Blaming|Complaining|Escapist|Jealous|Self-depreciating|Narcissistic |Ambiguous|Lazy|Addicted to compulsive behaviors|Not ready to change|Self-important|Lacks empathy|No clear goals Mindset of abundance -Positive|Happy|Growth oriented|confident|transformative|ambitious|hustling|always pumped|handles conflict well|accepts critical feedback. How you can change from pessimistic to positive mindset Understand that for most part of your life you have been carrying your parents mindset You have also been influenced by negative people around you. Dislodge their beliefs from your mind Make a list of good things you truly want in life and think what kind of mindset you would need to achieve them Believe you can achieve them and build a game plan to it The

“Our mind is like a garden.If we plant good seeds flowers will grow .If left unattended, it will be weeds and bugs”. Negative thoughts You are not good enough.You are ugly.Nobody likes you.You will certainly fail, why try.You are not worthy enough to be friends with good people.You are too thin.You are a menace and a shame to your family.You are a loser. These are some of the negative thoughts that come to mind when one is about to meet new people or start something new.The origin of this voice of negativity lies not in your past failures but in your fears -fear to own situations, fear to get hurt, fear to fail, fear to grow.This is because you are too comfortably stuck in known zones of utter comfort. How negative thoughts affect us We stay stuck We stay small We do not take action We do not love ourselves We hide and run from positive change We end up having distorted self image We take easy way out We avoid things,situations and people who challenge u

What is the crossfinger theory The crossfinger theory implies that life is not in our control and that whatever comes our way we must take it and hope for the best always Why it sucks Makes you weak Puts you out of drivers seat You learn to leave things to chance or believe in destiny You stop putting in efforts You become ambivalent You stop goal setting You become mediocre You settle for less than you deserve You live a life of lack What you can do to change it Believe that your life is in your hands Take back the control Have a life purpose and life plan Create detailed plan of life including financial,relationship, material ,spiritual success and chase these relentlessly Break down goals into short, medium and long term goals and start acting on them

I should not desire money Money causes greed and will make me non-empathetic I should not take business risks I should stay out of limelight and not draw attention to myself I should not speak my mind I should never offend anyone even if it means my boundaries being overstepped I should always adjust to circumstances My destiny is such that I will never receive abundance Less wealth and more peace is better than chasing what I desire My destiny is to be a corporate slave

Don’t knock yourself out of the game before you get the bat!” “If you keep doing the same things over and over again you will get the same results”. What are patterns If we do things over and over again in the same fashion, a pattern results.Our minds and bodies grow accustomed to these patterns.Sometimes they get embedded in our subconscious.We also , at times, mindlessly carry on with those patterns for an infinite time. Why are patterns ineffective We do them without thinking There is no metric for measuring effectiveness There is no scope of change We are hard-wired to do them Nothing in terms of betterment comes of it How to break old patterns Acknowledge ineffectiveness Prime yourself for change Realize that life is too short to keep running in circles Envision the growth you want and make a plan to reach there Start being pumped Stick to the plan without paying heed to environment,stress,business cycle changes Surround yourself with peo

What are standards They are rules of behavior and receiving things from which you will not fall below Examples of having standards Having personal boundaries Not entertaining nonsense Putting yourself and your needs first even though you’re helpful Having goals Setting new targets Pushing yourself to achieve more Teaching people how to treat you Letting go of toxic people Walking away from being treated poorly Envisioning the best for yourself Having many dreams  and constantly following through

“Don’t knock yourself out of the game before you get the bat!” “If you keep doing the same things over and over again you will get the same results”. What are patterns If we do things over and over again in the same fashion, a pattern results.Our minds and bodies grow accustomed to these patterns.Sometimes they get embedded in our subconscious.We also , at times, mindlessly carry on with those patterns for an infinite time. Why are patterns ineffective We do them without thinking There is no metric for measuring effectiveness There is no scope of change We are hard-wired to do them Nothing in terms of betterment comes of it How to break old patterns Acknowledge ineffectiveness Prime yourself for change Realize that life is too short to keep running in circles Envision the growth you want and make a plan to reach there Start being pumped Stick to the plan without paying heed to environment,stress,business cycle changes Surround yourse

What is toxic shame It is deep-rooted shame which has festered like a wound-it has gotten rotten|pus has spread|is a part of your being|is harmful|results in self-loathing Causes of toxic shame Shame based families Traumatic childhood experiences Adulthood trauma, especially loss or abandonment Horrible relationship and the indulgence in dark or numbing behaviours to deflect its pain Guilt and shame from dark behaviours You have toxic shame buried within if you Indulge in self destructive behaviours Negative self talk|Compare and Despair Hiding from –fear of judgement| Concealing things as you fear being mistreated if you reveal Lying-not saying how you feel|seeking approval via lying|people pleasing Loneliness-push people away|End friendships and relationships Wonder-if people will leave you if they see the real you Fear –of emotional intimacy If you feel continuous self loathing and self-doubt If you feel like a bottomless pit and fill it with distracting an

What is self esteem It is a certain value we attribute to our own selves.If anyone degrades this vale , a person with normal self esteem walks away, those with inflated self esteem create drama or fight and those with low self esteem continue to be around that person just because they are getting some attention (albeit hurtful/negative) from another human being. Causes of low self esteem An abusive or narcissistic parent A shame based family Dominating parents              Past relationship failure Past career or business failure Keeping company of negative people who indulge in self depreciating talk Being constantly told “you’re not good enough” Indulging in dark behavior including numbing behaviours like addictions and feeling shame thereafter The cycles of dealing with issues-normal person and those with low self esteem Normal person Shit happens Reflects Takes help of friends or family Addresses the issue Takes concrete action to fix issue Retu

What is effective utilization of time Using it such that it results in tangible output, betterment, happiness How to utilize time effectively Set immediately doable and over a period of time goals Make an effective plan to achieve it Create a series of back to back micro-goals in various spheres of life Prioritize the goals over anything else Determine your must haves-workout, family time, work time and centre tertiary of goals around the remaining time Stop indulging in gossiping and complaining Reduce amount of TV watched Find suitable balance between time with friends and family and goals Stop wasting time concocting bullshit stories about “I cannot do it” Own your mission Implement small changes, especially related to cutting out useless activities Don’t stop till they become habits

Whining These days everybody whines daily about long hours,lack of appreciation , asshole boss, unfair appraisal,inability to maintain work-life balance and the rest. Most announce that I will “fucking quit my bullshit job” and become an entrepreneur and make it big like Steve Jobs or Bill gates. Only these growlings are not followed by any concrete actions to quit the job or startup but is merely a way to let out frustration Evaluating advantages and disadvantages of both: Advantages of Job Stable income Job security Growth opportunities Disadvantages of job Asshole boss Long hours No work life balance No appreciation No projects of choice Advantage of startup Autonomy Building own growth path Rapid growth possible Freedom Disadvantages of startup Beggar like situation in initial phases for founders No guarantee of take off Can be wound up or acquired anytime Low possible effort to reward ratio

Loneliness: You sleep all day and stay up all night You spend most of the time alone You avoid the company of people You have no actual,reliable friends Accountability and commitment: You avoid taking responsibility for your actions You have emotional pain from the past that you’ve not fixed You use numbing tactics like alcohol, drugs and porn to deflect the past pain You do not like to make commitments to yourself or others because they require follow through You do not like accountability You avoid those who challenge you or insist you change for better You get triggered and howl if your comfort zone changes even slightly You have difficulty following through You do not like your life or schedule getting disrupted and at the same time wonder why you’ve stayed stuck and small You make grand plans for work in your mind but your follow through is inconsistent and less than 5%    Commitment to self : You only eat two pieces o

What is immersion Completely drowning in anything is called immersion.Surrendering to the gentle pull of what you immerse in is immersion.Letting the energy of that force take you over is immersion. What are the areas of life in which immersion can be applicable Work Self improvement Any passion Better health Exercise Business and enterprenurship Getting a new hobby Learning new skills Building better relationships Creating tangible wealth Living your gifts   Why is immersion necessary Most people live a life of distractions and lack.They spend loads of time chasing the mundane and living the usual life than investing time in growth-oriented activities.Even if they start investing time in betterment, they quickly get sucked into day-today stuff and lose focus. Immersion helps drown Immersion helps cut out the noise Immersion helps upgrade from peripheral to complete Immersion helps repeat the drowning till the drowner becomes