TransformYourLife

There are times when one is destructively criticized and it feels like having a burning missile thrown in the face.It dissuades one at times, throws one out of balance.At other times the nasty words wound the psyche and a person feels anxious and sad. Destructive criticism is not something one can evade or avoid-it is going to come our way no matter what.The only way is to learn and understand how to deal with it . Below are powerful methods to deal with it. 1.Thanks for sharing When someone criticizes you, there is a tendency to either: a) argue back; or b)   keep quiet and hold back anger but at the same time, letting the words poison your mind. You should thank the person for letting you know. By doing this, you’re giving out the message you’re not going to let the rejection in. 2.Could you please repeat that? If the person continues to criticize you , ask him to repeat what he said. A person would usually back down at this point because he is bei

What is emotional intelligence It is the ability to relate emotionally to others, sense their emotions and be receptive of them and control and temper your emotional response in accordance to the need of the hour. Emotional intelligence lays down the blueprint of how we navigate relationships with others. It is of prime importance in the workplace because: It helps us understand and respond to needs of team members It helps us be a better team player It helps us become more resilient in face of negative feedback It enables us to look calmly and holistically at any situation considering all stakeholders and improves business decisions It helps us manage stress better because we know if it is artificial or real depending upon its source It helps us to resolve conflicts better It helps us have more empathy and compassion for those around us/those we are managing (if in a leadership role) thus fostering deep work relationships It helps us rise above pettiness, jea

Comparing oneself to others Feeling threatened by the competence of others Gossiping about others Judgement of others to elevate self The above are some of the behaviors that insecure people indulge in repeatedly.They feel anxious, nervous and inadequate about themselves for most part.Many have tried stopping these behaviors but have been unable to do so. One needs to understand that insecure parents have indulged in the very same behaviors around you since childhood and you emulated them.They had no sense of worth, lived through your achievements and expected you to look and dress a particular way so that they are (falsely) uplifted by the praise coming their way via you. You have also been made to believe that you are your achievements/behavior by your parents which is where the comparisons and obsessive need to achieve stems from.Further, being compared with other children and being shamed for inadequacies you have has led to deep rooted self doubt.

Backlash after a presentation Negative comments from clients Being passed for a raise due to non-performance Failure at a project resulting in criticism The above are some of the forms of negative feedback.Negative feedback comes to us during all stages of life , even if we do not seek it.For the thin skinned, it results in feeling distraught and even a mild depression.For some others, it results in emotional shut down as a defense while few are incredibly angry at being told they suck at a particular thing. Negative feedback results in the above -mentioned defenses because it puts us in touch with our disowned parts and makes us feel toxic shame that we so vehemently are avoiding. The successful, however, take negative feedback in their stride and use it as a pointing tool towards self -improvement . Some of the ways to take negative feedback in our stride and grow from it are: a               Evaluate the source of feedback-Check if the person