TransformYourLife

·          A Harvard degree ·          A Benz  ·          A house in the Bahamas and a condo in the city ·          Spiritually conscious ·          A 7 figure salary ·          A warped sense of humor ·          A man who never litters ·          A man who is emotionally fluid ·          A man who appreciates art and literature ·          A man who can cook ·          A man who loves pets The above were some of the qualities and pre-requisites that a 28 year old uber successful woman had for her ideal mate.She would not get into a relationship with a man unless he met the above criteria.Also, she did not like too much contact with others, hated responsibility or commitment, did not have her own house /pet, never got to know people on a deep level and always wanted things on her terms. The real deal here is that she is emotionally unavailable due to her childhood wounds, deep mistrust of men .She portrays herself to be picky when it comes to men but the

There are people who stay in abusive one sided relationships.They give, accommodate, bend backwards till the point they are depleted.They stay around partners who constantly fight, nitpick,marginalize , are insecure and bring out the worst in them.They continue to give themselves up from the fear of being alone. They are deeply dissatisfied and often feel like they’re walking on eggs shells in such relationships.Despite this they do not leave and continue to tolerate the abuse being doled out. They have been shamed into believing they are worthless due to childhood abandonment and neglect.Hence they over give themselves-their time, money, love, attention to non- deserving partners to obtain crumbs of connection and love. They do not speak up for what they want and don’t want and never state their needs fearing that they will offend the partner and lose them. Healing entails healing toxic shame, developing boundaries, elevating esteem and putting self first.

A man , by definition, is supposed to be masculine, strong, unemotional , a provider for his mate and family and a also protector.He is never supposed to lose his cool and is always supposed to uphold his integrity.He is supposed to be a leader , a mentor and a guide .He must never get too emotional or display is feelings. He also displays physical strength and has strong boundaries.Unless evolved, he can be vindictive and vengeful as well.This is what the patriarch society has conditioned a good man to be.Such a man is a masculine essence man. There is a breed of men who were raised by controlling narcissistic women and weak passive codependent fathers.They had their wings clipped off at an early age and were not allowed to grow, develop and individuate .They are sensitive , caring , empathetic and understand a woman’s feelings deeply.They are, however, oftentimes, emotionally disconnected from self and find it hard to be vulnerable. Such a man needs to be led from the masc

Physical and emotional intimacy is the most beautiful and satisfying feeling ever.Intimacy requires us to become vulnerable and to be seen by another.It also requires that we surrender control and give ourselves to another with the trust that they will love and uphold us. However, most of us are carrying shame from our childhood.It makes us feel insecure and defective and afraid of being seen by another.Hiding, closing eyes, freezing and acting distant are some of the ways in which we retract from truly merging with another due to fear of revealing our true selves.Shutting down our emotions is yet another method for the same. Women have a fear of vocalizing their needs and truly enjoying the beauty of intimacy because they have been taught to be needless and silent since childhood.Thus, when they meet a conscious emotionally fluid   man they hide and don’t know how to conduct self in relationship. Emotional blockages erode intimacy.They prevent us from truly merging with t