Skip to main content

Toxic shame- caused and healing

What is toxic shame
It is deep-rooted shame which has festered like a wound-it has gotten rotten|pus has spread|is a part of your being|is harmful|results in self-loathing

Causes of toxic shame
  • Shame based families
  • Traumatic childhood experiences
  • Adulthood trauma, especially loss or abandonment
  • Horrible relationship and the indulgence in dark or numbing behaviours to deflect its pain
  • Guilt and shame from dark behaviours
  • You have toxic shame buried within if you
  • Indulge in self destructive behaviours
  • Negative self talk|Compare and Despair
  • Hiding from –fear of judgement| Concealing things as you fear being mistreated if you reveal
  • Lying-not saying how you feel|seeking approval via lying|people pleasing
  • Loneliness-push people away|End friendships and relationships
  • Wonder-if people will leave you if they see the real you
  • Fear –of emotional intimacy
  • If you feel continuous self loathing and self-doubt
  • If you feel like a bottomless pit and fill it with distracting and numbing activities including addictions



Healing Toxic Shame
Part A –Going back to the issues which caused it*
Core trauma experiences
  • Possible childhood causes
  • Shaming by parents and teachers
  • Sexual or emotional abuse
  • Dominating or emotionally absent parents
  • Possible adulthood events
  • Toxic relationship
  • Horrible breakup post which one indulged in dark and numbing behaviours
  • Repeated such indulgences till shame became toxic and festered

Healing
  • Acknowledging the shame causing event
  • Reliving those memories
  • Accepting what happened
  • Acknowledging that your core is not at shame and you can drop that appendage
  • Dissociating from guilt and shame
  • Releasing locked emotions-feeling|raging|crying|yelling
  • Practicing empathy and compassion for self
  • Filling cracks shame left with adequate self love and self care
  • Healing inner child

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im...
9 comments
Read more

10 things you shouldn’t say to those suffering from depression

Cheer up honey Why are you always glum? No matter what I do for you, you’re never happy!Phew! Stop being so darn lazy ! Why are you sleeping all the time? Gosh, you’re so clumsy ! How can your mood swing so much ?You were normal 2 mins back and now you’re in tears! Why are you always snapping at people? Why can’t you just get over it? You’re useless around the house!
1 comment
Read more

Difference between coaching and therapy

LIFE COACH VS. THERAPIST One of the most common misconceptions about  life coaching  is that it is therapy in disguise — or, worse yet, therapy from an unlicensed practitioner. In reality, life coaching is truly its own unique service designed to help people   meet the outcomes that will bring them success and fulfillment, in   all areas of life. Here are some of the differences between life coaching and therapy, and a basic guide for when each service is appropriate. DEFINING TERMS: LIFE COACH VS. THERAPIST What is therapy? Therapy, is a long-term process in which a client works with a professional to diagnose and resolve and heal problematic beliefs, behaviors, relationship issues, feelings ,emotional wounds and buried trauma and sometimes physical responses. The idea behind therapy is to focus on past traumas and issues to change self-destructive habits, repair and improve relationships and work through painful feelings. In this sense, therapy focuses on ...
Post a Comment
Read more