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Low self esteem –causes and recovery

What is self esteem
It is a certain value we attribute to our own selves.If anyone degrades this vale , a person with normal self esteem walks away, those with inflated self esteem create drama or fight and those with low self esteem continue to be around that person just because they are getting some attention (albeit hurtful/negative) from another human being.

Causes of low self esteem
An abusive or narcissistic parent
A shame based family
Dominating parents             
Past relationship failure
Past career or business failure
Keeping company of negative people who indulge in self depreciating talk
Being constantly told “you’re not good enough”
Indulging in dark behavior including numbing behaviours like addictions and feeling shame thereafter
The cycles of dealing with issues-normal person and those with low self esteem
Normal person
  • Shit happens
  • Reflects
  • Takes help of friends or family
  • Addresses the issue
  • Takes concrete action to fix issue
  • Returns to normal state

Person with low self –esteem
  • Shit happens
  • Impulses get triggered
  • Deflects from issue by being reckless|Indulging in dark behaviours including numbing using addictions
  • Feels horrible from within and shameful
  • Issue does not get resolved
  • Indulges in more reckless and dark behavior
  • Feels toxic shame
  • Indulges in more reckless and dark behavior including numbing and addictions to deflect shame
  • Cycle continues

Part 2
Healing low self esteem
  • Taking ownership of issue
  • Spending time with those who comfort and support you
  • Focusing on health
  • Putting in work towards work goals
  • Practicing compassion towards self
  • Letting go of insecurity
  • Stop seeking external validation


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