TransformYourLife

  Characteristics of   trauma bonded relationships: A constant pattern of non-performance — your partner promises you things, but keeps behaving to the contrary. Others are disturbed by something that is said or done to you in your relationship, but you brush it off. You feel stuck in the relationship because you see no way out. You keep having the same fights with your partner that go round in circles with no real winner. You're punished or given the silent treatment by your partner when you say or do something "wrong." You feel unable to detach from your relationship even though you don't truly trust or even like the person you're in it with. When you try and leave, you are plagued by such longing to get back with your partner you feel it might destroy you        Key reasons for staying in trauma bonded relationships: Addictive quality It's a bit like becoming addicted to a drug. A psychologically abusive relationship is a rol...

Codependence is oftentimes rooted in the feeling of inadequacy which stems of being shamed due to parental abandonment and neglect during childhood. Codependents in recovery learn to move past the shame of abandonment into enhanced self love.However, during this period, it is easy to backslide into old patterns of trying to rescue people, giving self up for crumbs of connection,allowing others to trample own boundaries, stalking exes on social media and so on. The following are some of the ways to deal with the triggers when they push you back into the old behaviors Practicing mindfulness Feeling the feelings and identifying them Repeatedly repeating the “I am enough” mantra Journaling painful feelings when they arise Finding yourself a support group like CODA a In addition to the above mentioned tips, one must also practice both physical and emotional self care help a recovering codependent stay sober.

Size zero. 24 inch waist Lean legs No cellulite No fat on the face Protruding collar bones 32 inch butt No wrinkles Flawlessly glowing skin Flat abs The above are the kinds of features and bodies that models have and common women seek to replicate them.However, no matter how hard they workout or how austere their diet is, they don’t seem to be losing weight.Slogging at the gym doesn’t seem to be helping. The way out is as follows: Set realistic goals Accept that your structure and body is not that of models and while you will get thinner , you won’t look exactly like them Learn to get comfortable in your own skin Accept that your worth is not dependent on your dress size Eat enough nutrient dense foods with exercise because starvation/crash dieting impedes weight loss Add weight training to your list of workouts to get lean Load up on lean proteins and fresh fruits and vegetables Allow room for treats -an occasional cupcake or chocolate doesn’t h...

Trauma is created when we internalize memories of unpleasant incidences and store them subconsciously.These memories, while latent,stay stored in our body and manifest in the following ways: Nightmares Waking up in a cold sweat Body hardening /becoming tense at touch (for victims of physical abuse) Difficulty trusting others A closed off vibe when meeting new people Confusion, difficulty concentrating Anger, irritability, mood swings Anxiety and fear Guilt, shame, self-blame Withdrawing from others Feeling sad or hopeless Feeling disconnected or numb Being startled easily Difficulty concentrating Racing heartbeat Edginess and agitation Aches and pains Muscle tension

·          A Harvard degree ·          A Benz  ·          A house in the Bahamas and a condo in the city ·          Spiritually conscious ·          A 7 figure salary ·          A warped sense of humor ·          A man who never litters ·          A man who is emotionally fluid ·          A man who appreciates art and literature ·          A man who can cook ·          A man who loves pets The above were some of the qualities and pre-requisites that a 28 year old uber successful woman had for her ideal mate.She would not ...

There are people who stay in abusive one sided relationships.They give, accommodate, bend backwards till the point they are depleted.They stay around partners who constantly fight, nitpick,marginalize , are insecure and bring out the worst in them.They continue to give themselves up from the fear of being alone. They are deeply dissatisfied and often feel like they’re walking on eggs shells in such relationships.Despite this they do not leave and continue to tolerate the abuse being doled out. They have been shamed into believing they are worthless due to childhood abandonment and neglect.Hence they over give themselves-their time, money, love, attention to non- deserving partners to obtain crumbs of connection and love. They do not speak up for what they want and don’t want and never state their needs fearing that they will offend the partner and lose them. Healing entails healing toxic shame, developing boundaries, elevating esteem and putting self first.

A man , by definition, is supposed to be masculine, strong, unemotional , a provider for his mate and family and a also protector.He is never supposed to lose his cool and is always supposed to uphold his integrity.He is supposed to be a leader , a mentor and a guide .He must never get too emotional or display is feelings. He also displays physical strength and has strong boundaries.Unless evolved, he can be vindictive and vengeful as well.This is what the patriarch society has conditioned a good man to be.Such a man is a masculine essence man. There is a breed of men who were raised by controlling narcissistic women and weak passive codependent fathers.They had their wings clipped off at an early age and were not allowed to grow, develop and individuate .They are sensitive , caring , empathetic and understand a woman’s feelings deeply.They are, however, oftentimes, emotionally disconnected from self and find it hard to be vulnerable. Such a man needs to be led from the masc...