Skip to main content

Family of origin -stay connected or cut the chord


  •          My mother is a narcissist
  •         My father is alcoholic abusive
  •         My parents fucked up my entire childhood by fighting all the time
  •          My sister is an emotional vampire
  •          My mother-in-law is trying to run our lives
  •          My brother and his wife are invasive


The above points are some of the common complaints by people who are appalled at their family and resent/hate them for the misery their parents caused them during childhood.

They blame all current life problems on inner emotional wounds created during childhood.Some people are so mad at their parents and siblings that they consider cutting all ties.Others tolerate/put up with their behaviors out of the need to be polite but are resentful of the spewing toxicity nevertheless.

What then must one do-cut all ties or stay in touch?
The answer is not straightforward.

If the family members are toxic beyond measure-violent,rage filled and can get physically abusive towards you or your children/pets, then it is all right to cut ties.

If there are certain of their behaviors like narcissism, taunting ,invasiveness, negativity which are seemingly easier to deal with, then its all right to stay in touch and meet occasionally with firm boundaries in place because no parent has created misery for child intentionally but out of their woundedness and must be held with compassion and empathy in old age .

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im...
9 comments
Read more

10 things you shouldn’t say to those suffering from depression

Cheer up honey Why are you always glum? No matter what I do for you, you’re never happy!Phew! Stop being so darn lazy ! Why are you sleeping all the time? Gosh, you’re so clumsy ! How can your mood swing so much ?You were normal 2 mins back and now you’re in tears! Why are you always snapping at people? Why can’t you just get over it? You’re useless around the house!
1 comment
Read more

Difference between coaching and therapy

LIFE COACH VS. THERAPIST One of the most common misconceptions about  life coaching  is that it is therapy in disguise — or, worse yet, therapy from an unlicensed practitioner. In reality, life coaching is truly its own unique service designed to help people   meet the outcomes that will bring them success and fulfillment, in   all areas of life. Here are some of the differences between life coaching and therapy, and a basic guide for when each service is appropriate. DEFINING TERMS: LIFE COACH VS. THERAPIST What is therapy? Therapy, is a long-term process in which a client works with a professional to diagnose and resolve and heal problematic beliefs, behaviors, relationship issues, feelings ,emotional wounds and buried trauma and sometimes physical responses. The idea behind therapy is to focus on past traumas and issues to change self-destructive habits, repair and improve relationships and work through painful feelings. In this sense, therapy focuses on ...
Post a Comment
Read more