Family of origin -stay connected or cut the chord

•          My mother is a narcissist
•         My father is alcoholic abusive
•         My parents fucked up my entire childhood by fighting all the time
•          My sister is an emotional vampire
•          My mother-in-law is trying to run our lives
•          My brother and his wife are invasive

The above points are some of the common complaints by people who are appalled at their family and resent/hate them for the misery their parents caused them during childhood.

They blame all current life problems on inner emotional wounds created during childhood.Some people are so mad at their parents and siblings that they consider cutting all ties.Others tolerate/put up with their behaviors out of the need to be polite but are resentful of the spewing toxicity nevertheless.

What then must one do-cut all ties or stay in touch?

The answer is not straightforward.

If the family members are toxic beyond measure-violent,rage filled and can get physically abusive towards you or your children/pets, then it is all right to cut ties.

If there are certain of their behaviors like narcissism, taunting ,invasiveness, negativity which are seemingly easier to deal with, then its all right to stay in touch and meet occasionally with firm boundaries in place because no parent has created misery for child intentionally but out of their woundedness and must be held with compassion and empathy in old age .