Excess-the subconscious indication for deeper re-examination of what needs relooking

• Excessive drinking
• Porn addiction
• Sex addiction
• Over-eating
• Excessive exercising
• Workaholism/over achievement  till the point of dropping with exhaustion

The above are some of the examples of overdoing some of the activities that people do.Everyone overeats or excessively works sometimes but constantly engaging in these excesses is detrimental to the body.It results in overweight,no time for self and breaking down from exhaustion.Furthermore, if a person has a porn or sex addiction it can lead to the demise of relationship with partner and also lead to fear or inability to feel intimacy.

It is hence necessary to check and see where these excesses stem from , what our body and subconscious is trying to tell us via them and what we can do to heal.

Let us divide the excesses into two categories

1.Addictions-Food and alcohol,porn, sex

2.Subtle "addictions" -Workaholism, over exercise

Before we proceed a notch higher, we must understand that all our actions, addictive/excessive or even otherwise are the body’s and subconscious manifestation of our inner needs.

Let us understand how using a story from each category:

Story 1-37 year old Stephen and his porn addiction

Stephen is a 37 year old white male and lives in London.He has a job as a clerk at a manufacturing company.He has been in one long term relationship from age 24 to 30 with a woman who loved him very much but cheated on him.He was shattered and did not process the pain well.He vowed to himself never to trust another woman.He indulged in reckless casual sex and watched a lot of porn for his sensual needs without any emotional investment.

There were times when he did feel the need for closeness and intimacy and he did consider finding himself a mate but the fear of  emotional pain pushed him back to porn.He indulged in it to the extent that it helped him numb his need for intimacy till the point that he stopped feeling much.

Thus the addiction served the need for pain and feeling numbing.

It also left him bereft of love and connection.

Story 2-Story of 32 year old Renee from New York

Renee was born to ultra-successful yet narcissistic parents.Her father was a senior congressman and her mother was a whip at the white house.She had no siblings.Her parents had no time for her and she was raised by nannies and equally narcissistic grandparents.The only times she was noticed and praised by her parents was when she excelled at school,sport or music.

They always encouraged her to achieve more and any mistakes she made or failures she had were looked down upon.Thus the message she received in childhood was that she must excessively achieve and always be in control of her success –that was the only way to feel loved and wanted.

She graduated magna cum lauda from law school at age 22 and started working at a top law firm .She had hardly any friends and focused on fast track promotions to partner by overworking.At age 25 she had a nervous breakdown and was ordered by her doctor to slow down.

Renee’s need to overwork stemmed from seeking validation and love .

Thus any excess is an invitation from our subconscious to look deeper and figure out what unmet emotional needs this excess is trying to meet.Thereafter we must concrete action to do the required emotional work to dislodge the painful parts which will eventually result in balance.