Accepting impermanence

The very nature of life is impermanent.The color of leaves of trees changes, seasons follow each other cyclically, we grow older by the day, we experience periods of happiness, sorrow and misery followed by other emotions again.

Thus, life is not static.It is constantly changing-ever evolving.

In the context of this evolution,if the shifts in events are not major, or say "tectonic shifts", we presume life is , in general, stable .However, major events like a divorce, loss of job or loved one throws us off balance.

Understanding that these events too, just like the "lesser significant" ones, are a part of the ebb and flow.

It is the hankering for permanence and stability that creates misery.Attachment to supposed stability is the root of it.

Keeping a not knowing mind, flowing freely,accepting what comes in the path and holding onto the belief that"this too shall pass" is the only way out!

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How to overcome fear of engulfment in relationships

Fear of engulfment is the fear of getting controlled by partner or losing yourself in the relationship.It is a very strong fear of being swallowed by the partner and makes one run for the hills.The individual with this fear hence completely avoids relationships sometimes or is unable to sustain them and runs each time things begin to heat up. This fear is actually a fear of rejection .Due to this fear the individual gives too much in the early phases of the relationship so that they can please their partner and to ensure their partner likes them.They take responsibility for their partners feelings and want to make sure the partner stays happy and does not reject them.But this too much giving from the fear of rejection makes them feel trapped. The solution to this is to develop stronger boundaries, not take rejection personally and religiously practice inner bonding to develop a very strong sense of adult self. Let us see examples in of a person named Raymond who is 44

Aanchal Parker Poetry #4

Characteristics of trauma bonded relationships: A constant pattern of non-performance — your partner promises you things, but keeps behaving to the contrary. Others are disturbed by something that is said or done to you in your relationship, but you brush it off. You feel stuck in the relationship because you see no way out. You keep having the same fights with your partner that go round in circles with no real winner. You're punished or given the silent treatment by your partner when you say or do something "wrong." You feel unable to detach from your relationship even though you don't truly trust or even like the person you're in it with. When you try and leave, you are plagued by such longing to get back with your partner you feel it might destroy you Key reasons for staying in trauma bonded relationships: Addictive quality It's a bit like becoming addicted to a drug. A psychologically abusive relationship is a rollercoast

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