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Approval versus appreciation


Consider the following example about a spiritual healer cum kundalini yoga teacher who has started her full time business of training people in yoga recently.In a week she got two new enrollments .To get new enrollments, she invites friends ,family and acquaintances to a free session followed by coffee and cookies from her.

At the end of the session , the crowd thanks her and then begins to  disperse.Neither her friends nor new prospects say much about whether they liked the session.She then goes upto one of her friends and asks her how she liked the session to which her friend responds that it was nice but doesn’t appreciate her beyond that.

She goes home and thinks about why it is that she is feeling horrible now despite having met so many people over a nice coffee evening.

She then realizes that, couched in her need for appreciation , there was a need to win approval from others.Due to this need,others felt “pulled at” and distanced themselves from her instead of moving forward to appreciate her.

In order to feel good from within, she would have to stop abandoning herself by making other people responsible for her feelings of self worth and take personal ownership of filling herself from within with self love.This will heal the need for external approval and appreciation, if received,would then be cherry on the cake but she wouldn’t wilt from the lack of it.

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