Skip to main content

  Characteristics of   trauma bonded relationships:
  • A constant pattern of non-performance — your partner promises you things, but keeps behaving to the contrary.
  • Others are disturbed by something that is said or done to you in your relationship, but you brush it off.
  • You feel stuck in the relationship because you see no way out.
  • You keep having the same fights with your partner that go round in circles with no real winner.
  • You're punished or given the silent treatment by your partner when you say or do something "wrong."
  • You feel unable to detach from your relationship even though you don't truly trust or even like the person you're in it with.
  • When you try and leave, you are plagued by such longing to get back with your partner you feel it might destroy you
      

Key reasons for staying in trauma bonded relationships:
Addictive quality
It's a bit like becoming addicted to a drug. A psychologically abusive relationship is a rollercoaster, with punishment and then intermittent reinforcement of kindness when you "behave." This means the body is going through its own turmoil, with high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, paired with dopamine when given affection as a reward.

The way out:
  • Understanding that cycles of push pull, reward and withdrawal are addictive yet harmful
  • Elevating self worth-knowing you’re worthy and deserve better
  • Seeking support of friends and family
  • Finding yourself outside of the relationship
  • Embracing aloneness
  • Raising standards and setting boundaries


 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to overcome fear of engulfment in relationships

Fear of engulfment is the fear of getting controlled by partner or losing yourself in the relationship.It is a very strong fear of being swallowed by the partner and makes one run for the hills.The individual with this fear hence completely avoids relationships sometimes or is unable to sustain them and runs each time things begin to heat up. This fear is actually a fear of rejection .Due to this fear the individual gives too much in the early phases of the relationship so that they can please their partner and to ensure their partner likes them.They take responsibility for their partners feelings and want to make sure the partner stays happy and does not reject them.But this too much giving from the fear of rejection makes them feel trapped. The solution to this is to develop stronger boundaries, not take rejection personally and religiously practice inner bonding to develop a very strong sense of adult self. Let us see examples in of a person named Raymond who is 44

Aanchal Parker Poetry #4

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im