Skip to main content

  Characteristics of   trauma bonded relationships:
  • A constant pattern of non-performance — your partner promises you things, but keeps behaving to the contrary.
  • Others are disturbed by something that is said or done to you in your relationship, but you brush it off.
  • You feel stuck in the relationship because you see no way out.
  • You keep having the same fights with your partner that go round in circles with no real winner.
  • You're punished or given the silent treatment by your partner when you say or do something "wrong."
  • You feel unable to detach from your relationship even though you don't truly trust or even like the person you're in it with.
  • When you try and leave, you are plagued by such longing to get back with your partner you feel it might destroy you
      

Key reasons for staying in trauma bonded relationships:
Addictive quality
It's a bit like becoming addicted to a drug. A psychologically abusive relationship is a rollercoaster, with punishment and then intermittent reinforcement of kindness when you "behave." This means the body is going through its own turmoil, with high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, paired with dopamine when given affection as a reward.

The way out:
  • Understanding that cycles of push pull, reward and withdrawal are addictive yet harmful
  • Elevating self worth-knowing you’re worthy and deserve better
  • Seeking support of friends and family
  • Finding yourself outside of the relationship
  • Embracing aloneness
  • Raising standards and setting boundaries


 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Social Media Addiction and cure

What is social media addiction Checking social media like FB,twitter,Instagram,snapchat multiple times a day or posting on these platforms multiple times a day and checking for likes /comments Why is social media addictive It has been designed to be interesting and the updates make it all the more fun What is difference between normal surfing and addiction Normal surfing Normal surfing is when you’re normal when you surf-you do not get a special high from it You do not experience withdrawal symptoms if you’re wifi is down or if your network is down You can stay away from social media for few days without feeling like you’re recovering from an avalanche You check social media 1-2 times a day and whatever happens there doesn’t affect you much Addiction You check social media every 15 minutes-at work, during meetings, in the cab You post regularly and insist on likes and views to feel validated Posting selfies in new clothing all the time Posting...
5 comments
Read more

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im...
9 comments
Read more

Relapse of emotional healing and what to do about it

Emotional healing is the process of acknowledging our childhood wounds, behavior patters and traumas which prevent us from having healthy relationships and living a whole life.We often set up therapy sessions/read self help books/hire an online coach/attend community help healing sessions and the likes to change our patterns and evoke self love.Further, we journal, spend time with nature, meditate and relax to effect faster change. After a while, the changes start to take place.Within 8-12 months, we have undone our patterns, healed our wounds and start to attract healthier relationships.We feel energized, whole and happier.We believe this change is permanent. However, oftentimes during periods of loneliness, trauma or loss, the old patterns crop up.Self love goes out of the window.Neediness, clinging, jealousy, rage, avoidance, emotional dishonesty , witholding love,codependence raise their ugly head.Negative emotions buried deep within raise their ugly head. We relapse into ol...
Post a Comment
Read more