TransformYourLife

It’s natural to imagine that the highest virtue in love would be kindness and, a close second, politeness. But there is an odd danger lurking here: a relationship where we are overly polite, where there is not enough directness, where things go wrong not because of a lack of tenderness or serenity but because of a stifling excess of manners, because there aren’t enough raised voices, insults, legitimate furies and moments where both partners feel free to call each other idiots and much worse. When we hear arguments between lovers, perhaps through a hotel bedroom wall, it is easy to fear for them and their union. But there is, within reason, something extremely vital and redemptive that can unfold within the occasional heated discussion. Living around someone is bound to be, at points, extremely disappointing. For love to remain vital, we need the freedom to give this disappointment expression. It seems we cannot love if love is all we are allowed to do. Many of us have implici...