TransformYourLife

We often see women who only attract broke, abusive,emotionally battered/unavailable men .These men only offer crumbs in the relationship , are having underlying mental conditions/addictions and yet these women hold onto them and nurture them. The following are the reasons for the same: The woman was raised in an abusive environment and the paradigm of a relationship thus set for her was that riled in abuse The woman's father was emotionally unavailable and distant and she had to vie for his attention .She replicates the same in adult relationships. She has low self esteem and fear of being alone Subsconscious programming attracts her to those who feel familiar vibrationally, namely, the abusive and the unavailable She has a belief that if she rescues these men they will somehow grow to love her

Trauma bonding Depression Remembering the illusion of who they presented themselves as Being falsely in love with an idealized version of them Seeking attention in loneliness Familiarity to abusive parent Addiction to abuse since childhood Low self esteem No sense of self Lack of boundaries

Codependence is oftentimes rooted in the feeling of inadequacy which stems of being shamed due to parental abandonment and neglect during childhood. Codependents in recovery learn to move past the shame of abandonment into enhanced self love.However, during this period, it is easy to backslide into old patterns of trying to rescue people, giving self up for crumbs of connection,allowing others to trample own boundaries, stalking exes on social media and so on. The following are some of the ways to deal with the triggers when they push you back into the old behaviors Practicing mindfulness Feeling the feelings and identifying them Repeatedly repeating the “I am enough” mantra Journaling painful feelings when they arise Finding yourself a support group like CODA a In addition to the above mentioned tips, one must also practice both physical and emotional self care help a recovering codependent stay sober.

Trauma is created when we internalize memories of unpleasant incidences and store them subconsciously.These memories, while latent,stay stored in our body and manifest in the following ways: Nightmares Waking up in a cold sweat Body hardening /becoming tense at touch (for victims of physical abuse) Difficulty trusting others A closed off vibe when meeting new people Confusion, difficulty concentrating Anger, irritability, mood swings Anxiety and fear Guilt, shame, self-blame Withdrawing from others Feeling sad or hopeless Feeling disconnected or numb Being startled easily Difficulty concentrating Racing heartbeat Edginess and agitation Aches and pains Muscle tension

          My mother is a narcissist          My father is alcoholic abusive          My parents fucked up my entire childhood by fighting all the time           My sister is an emotional vampire           My mother-in-law is trying to run our lives           My brother and his wife are invasive The above points are some of the common complaints by people who are appalled at their family and resent/hate them for the misery their parents caused them during childhood. They blame all current life problems on inner emotional wounds created during childhood.Some people are so mad at their parents and siblings that they consider cutting all ties.Others tolerate/put up with their behaviors out of the need to be polite but are resentful of the spewing toxicity nevertheless. What then must one do-cut all ties or s...

·          The desperate pursuer ·          The commitment phobe ·          The codependent ·          The distancer ·          The manipulative love demander ·          The emotionally shut off sex addict ·          The grandiose lover chasing only models These are some of the avatars people we meet seem to be adorning when we meet them .The distancer is usually chased by the pursuer and the commitment phobe is never able to emotionally commit despite wanting intimacy. Why do people have such disparate behaviours in the love realm when love is just a four letter word?Why does the pursuer desperately and anxiously pursue unavailable people?Why must the distancer run from intimacy?Why can ...