Skip to main content

Family of origin -stay connected or cut the chord


  •          My mother is a narcissist
  •         My father is alcoholic abusive
  •         My parents fucked up my entire childhood by fighting all the time
  •          My sister is an emotional vampire
  •          My mother-in-law is trying to run our lives
  •          My brother and his wife are invasive


The above points are some of the common complaints by people who are appalled at their family and resent/hate them for the misery their parents caused them during childhood.

They blame all current life problems on inner emotional wounds created during childhood.Some people are so mad at their parents and siblings that they consider cutting all ties.Others tolerate/put up with their behaviors out of the need to be polite but are resentful of the spewing toxicity nevertheless.

What then must one do-cut all ties or stay in touch?
The answer is not straightforward.

If the family members are toxic beyond measure-violent,rage filled and can get physically abusive towards you or your children/pets, then it is all right to cut ties.

If there are certain of their behaviors like narcissism, taunting ,invasiveness, negativity which are seemingly easier to deal with, then its all right to stay in touch and meet occasionally with firm boundaries in place because no parent has created misery for child intentionally but out of their woundedness and must be held with compassion and empathy in old age .

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Social Media Addiction and cure

What is social media addiction Checking social media like FB,twitter,Instagram,snapchat multiple times a day or posting on these platforms multiple times a day and checking for likes /comments Why is social media addictive It has been designed to be interesting and the updates make it all the more fun What is difference between normal surfing and addiction Normal surfing Normal surfing is when you’re normal when you surf-you do not get a special high from it You do not experience withdrawal symptoms if you’re wifi is down or if your network is down You can stay away from social media for few days without feeling like you’re recovering from an avalanche You check social media 1-2 times a day and whatever happens there doesn’t affect you much Addiction You check social media every 15 minutes-at work, during meetings, in the cab You post regularly and insist on likes and views to feel validated Posting selfies in new clothing all the time Posting...
5 comments
Read more

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im...
9 comments
Read more

How to increase self confidence

Anxiety before big presentation Sweaty palms before meeting stakeholders Stammering in front of client even though you know the solutions Feeling afraid about new responsibilities at work   Feeling like running away from work now that a boss who used to protect you has quit The above are common things which happen in the workplace,especially for employees who have less than 10 years of work experience.They feel non-confident in their abilities or suffer from self doubt. The following are powerful methods to feel more confident at work: a)Know you're enough: During childhood and earlier in life there are experiences one has which make one feel one is not good enough/is shamed into believing one is not good enough.Know that you in yourself are enough.This helps silence the inner critic. b)Practice self compassion When you're learning new skills or at a new job, realize that becoming fully proficient at it will take some time .Be ki...
Post a Comment
Read more