Skip to main content

Approval versus appreciation


Consider the following example about a spiritual healer cum kundalini yoga teacher who has started her full time business of training people in yoga recently.In a week she got two new enrollments .To get new enrollments, she invites friends ,family and acquaintances to a free session followed by coffee and cookies from her.

At the end of the session , the crowd thanks her and then begins to  disperse.Neither her friends nor new prospects say much about whether they liked the session.She then goes upto one of her friends and asks her how she liked the session to which her friend responds that it was nice but doesn’t appreciate her beyond that.

She goes home and thinks about why it is that she is feeling horrible now despite having met so many people over a nice coffee evening.

She then realizes that, couched in her need for appreciation , there was a need to win approval from others.Due to this need,others felt “pulled at” and distanced themselves from her instead of moving forward to appreciate her.

In order to feel good from within, she would have to stop abandoning herself by making other people responsible for her feelings of self worth and take personal ownership of filling herself from within with self love.This will heal the need for external approval and appreciation, if received,would then be cherry on the cake but she wouldn’t wilt from the lack of it.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Social Media Addiction and cure

What is social media addiction Checking social media like FB,twitter,Instagram,snapchat multiple times a day or posting on these platforms multiple times a day and checking for likes /comments Why is social media addictive It has been designed to be interesting and the updates make it all the more fun What is difference between normal surfing and addiction Normal surfing Normal surfing is when you’re normal when you surf-you do not get a special high from it You do not experience withdrawal symptoms if you’re wifi is down or if your network is down You can stay away from social media for few days without feeling like you’re recovering from an avalanche You check social media 1-2 times a day and whatever happens there doesn’t affect you much Addiction You check social media every 15 minutes-at work, during meetings, in the cab You post regularly and insist on likes and views to feel validated Posting selfies in new clothing all the time Posting...
5 comments
Read more

Insecure Boss Syndrome and how to deal

Hello everybody, This is my first post today and I thought i'd start with a super-common yet extremely important topic-an asshole /insecure boss . We spend a large part of our lives at the workplace and are often plagued with horrible managers.Also, it is extremely unfortunate that we do not choose our managers but they are assigned to us. A good manager can lead to motivation, growth, skill improvement and promotions while a bad one can create unhappiness, tears, emotional pain, anger and frustration. Lets first delve into the characterstics of an insecure manager: Micromanages Does not trust you Does not stand up for employees in front of clients Is overtly critical Requires updates every 5 minutes Cannot appreciate good work Feels threatened by employees who are better than him Creates and fuels team politics Plays favorites Openly insults employees Uses control as a means to feel secure Creates artificial sense of urgency Is never at peace The most im...
9 comments
Read more

How to increase self confidence

Anxiety before big presentation Sweaty palms before meeting stakeholders Stammering in front of client even though you know the solutions Feeling afraid about new responsibilities at work   Feeling like running away from work now that a boss who used to protect you has quit The above are common things which happen in the workplace,especially for employees who have less than 10 years of work experience.They feel non-confident in their abilities or suffer from self doubt. The following are powerful methods to feel more confident at work: a)Know you're enough: During childhood and earlier in life there are experiences one has which make one feel one is not good enough/is shamed into believing one is not good enough.Know that you in yourself are enough.This helps silence the inner critic. b)Practice self compassion When you're learning new skills or at a new job, realize that becoming fully proficient at it will take some time .Be ki...
Post a Comment
Read more